By Danny Churchill, LSW, MSW
Pornography is rampant throughout our culture. It is estimated that internet pornography is a several billion dollar industry attainable by anyone who has access to a computer. Statistics show that 40 million Americans view pornography regularly. Some of these 40 million Americans are in committed relationships. Pornography use can have a negative impact within a relationship. Some of the areas affected include Intimacy, trust, and commitment.
Intimacy – One of the most important hallmarks of a relationship is intimacy between both partners. Intimacy can be fostered through physical contact and emotional closeness, amongst other ways. When there is a deficit in one of these areas, pornography can often take the place of it. Individuals, both men and women, who reported watching pornography on their own (without their partner), have higher levels of negative communication. Having more negative than positive communication is an inhibitor of intimacy development or can diminish intimacy that was previously there. Pornography is often used as a coping mechanism for dealing with stress. Sometimes this stress can be related to the lack of intimacy in a relationship.
Trust – Pornography use can erode trust within a relationship. There is often deceit associated with use. One partner is consuming porn and hides it. It may even be the case where both partners are using it and hiding it from each other. Regardless of the circumstances, if it is true that there is pornography use within a relationship and there has not been a discussion about it, then it can negatively impact trust. Research into the connection between a male partner’s pornography use and relationship trust in women showed that the two have a negative relationship. This means that the higher the perceived use of pornography by their male partners, the lower the relationship trust. As was discussed with intimacy, if pornography has become a coping mechanism used by a partner, then it is likely that the use will increase if there’s a perceived lack of trust in the relationship.
Commitment – Another topic of interest to researchers related to pornography use in relationships is commitment. Research has considered what the level of commitment is in partners who regularly use pornography. One particular study surveyed several men and women who had been in relationships ranging anywhere from two months to three years about their pornography use and level of commitment. Both men and women exhibited lower levels of commitment the higher their use of pornography. These same researchers later asked the participants to give up using pornography for three weeks. They surveyed them after these three weeks to see their commitment levels and they were higher than they previously had been.
There are a variety of other factors that contribute to these three areas of a relationship. However, it is clear that regular pornography use has a negative impact. This article also does not consider the impact of pornography addiction, which is also a significant concern tied to regular pornography use. It is important that both individuals recognize the impact pornography can have on a relationship and be honest about their views on it.
Are you having issues with intimacy, trust, and commitment in your relationship? Help is available at Anchorpoint. Call 412-366-1300 to schedule an appointment for individual, couple or marriage counseling.
References:
Szymanski, D. M., Feltman, C. E., & Dunn, T. L. (2015). Male partners’ perceived pornography use and women’s relational and psychological health: The roles of trust, attitudes, and investment. Sex Roles, 73(5-6), 187-199. http://dx.doi.org.pitt.idm.oclc.org/10.1007/s11199-015-0518-5
Lambert, N. M., Negash, Stillman, T.F., Olmstead, S. B., & Fincham, F.M. (2012). A Love that Doesn’t Last: Pornography Consumption and Weakened Commitment to One’s Romantic Partner. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 31(4) 410-438.
Statistics gathered from https://www.webroot.com/us/en/home/resources/tips/digital-family-life/internet-pornography-by-the-numbers